III
When I was eleven years old, my life again changed abruptly. One morning in May I was doing lessons with Mardonius. I was reciting Hesiod and making a good many mistakes, when Gallus came into the room.
“He’s dead. The Bishop’s dead. In the church. He died. Just like that!”
Mardonius drew a cross on his chest; so did I. A moment later we were joined by clergy, officials, servants. Everyone was stunned, and alarmed, for it is a great event when the bishop of Constantinople dies, and who succeeds him is a matter of national importance. The emperor—if he is Galilean—always has a hand in the choosing of a successor. But Constantius was a thousand miles away, on the borders of Persia. So for several weeks no bishop was appointed, and no one knew what to do with Gallus and me. Luckily, my uncle Count Julian was in the city, and the day after the funeral he came to see us.
“He’s going to kill us, isn’t he?” Under stress, Gallus could be reckless.
Count Julian’s smile was not very convincing. “Certainly not. After all, you are the heirs of Constantine the Great.”
“So was our father,” said Gallus grimly. “And all the others.”
“But the divine Augustus is your friend.”
“Then why are we under arrest?” Gallus indicated the secret police who had arrived only that day; when Gallus and I had tried to go out, we were told politely to stay where we were “until further orders”.
“They are for your protection.”
“The only protection we need is from Constantius,” said Gallus; but he lowered his voice. Though hot-tempered, he was not suicidal. Count Julian looked very nervous.
“That is not true, Gallus. Now listen to me carefully. Someone close to the Emperor, very close, has told me that Constantius believes that the reason he cannot have children is because he—because so many members of his own family were—because they, ah, died!”
“Yes, but since he’s already committed enough murders to get him into hell, why stop at us? He has nothing to lose.”
“Nothing to gain, either. After all, you are only children.”
Gallus snorted. At sixteen he was physically a man, though in character he was still a child, a fierce destructive child.
“Believe me, you are safe.” Count Julian was soothing. He was in an excellent mood, for he had just been appointed governor of Egypt, and I am afraid that was more on his mind than the fate of his nephews. But he did his best to comfort us, for which I at least was grateful. He left us with the hollow words, “You have nothing to fear.”
When he was gone, Gallus deliberately smashed the cup he had used. Breaking things always gave Gallus physical relief; shattering this particular cup took on ritual significance. “He’s like all the rest!” Gallus’s voice cracked with anger as he stood there in the bright sun of a green May day, his long pale hair tangled across his brow, his startling blue eyes magnified with sudden tears. “There’s no way out of this!”
I tried to say something hopeful but he rounded on me. “You’re no loss, you little ape! But why do I have to die?”
Why indeed? Everyone asks himself that question sooner or later. No one can ever love us quite so much as we love ourselves. Gallus saw no justice in a world where a beauty and vitality such as his could be pinched out as casually as a lamp wick. Of course fate is cruel. But children cannot accept this, nor men like Gallus who see all things as incidental to themselves. I loved Gallus. I hated him. During the first years of my life I was so entirely absorbed by him that I was hardly aware of myself at all except as I was reflected in those vivid blue eyes, which saw nothing of me nor much of anything else.
But Count Julian was right. Constantius did suffer remorse for his crimes. We were safe, for the time being. In due course a message arrived from the Chamberlain Eusebius. Gallus and I were to be sent to Macellum in Cappadocia “to continue your education”.
“Education for what?” asked Gallus when this message had been read us. But Mardonius silenced him. “The Augustus is merciful. Never forget that he is now your father as well as your lord.”
We departed for Macellum that same day. I was most upset, for Mardonius was not to accompany us. I don’t know the motive behind this act of petty cruelty except that as the Chamberlain Eusebius was also a eunuch he might have thought that a fellow eunuch would prove to be too subtle an ally for us. Sniffling wretchedly, I was bundled into a wagon with Gallus.
Mardonius was also grief-stricken but he controlled himself. “We shall meet again,” he said. “And when we do, I shall expect Gallus to know as much Hesiod as Julian.” Mardonius stood stiffly in front of the bishop’s palace as we drove off, escorted by a cohort of cavalry, just as if we were important princes, which we were, or important prisoners, which we also were. I sobbed. Gallus swore fierce oaths under his breath. In the street a crowd of people were gathered, eager for a glimpse of us. To get a close view one bold burgher thrust his head over the side of the wagon. Gallus promptly spat in the man’s astonished face. Then Gallus covered his head with his cloak and would not take it off until we were outside the city gate. No one expected to see us alive again.
All travellers agree that Macellum is one of the beautiful places of the world. I hate it to this day. Macellum is not a town but an imperial residence originally used by the ancient Cappadocian kings as a hunting lodge. Constantine enlarged it so that it is now a complex of many buildings set in lonely woods at the foot of Mount Argaeus, some four hundred miles south-east of Constantinople. When Constantius inherited the principate, he acquired the lodge, along with a number of other properties in the neighbourhood; in fact, our family’s private income derives almost entirely from the Cappadocian crown lands.
Tonight when I was telling Priscus about my childhood, he said that it sounded enviable. “After all, you lived in a palace, with gardens, baths, fountains, a private chapel,” he enjoys teasing me, “in the very best hunting country with nothing to do but read. You had the perfect life.” Well, it was not perfect. Gallus and I might just as well have been hostages in a Persian prison. We had no one to talk to, except for a series of schoolmasters from nearby Caesarea.
None stayed with us very long because of Gallus. He could not resist tormenting them. He got on better with our jailers, particularly the young officers. Gallus could be very winning when he wanted to be, and he soon had them training him in the use of sword and spear, shield and axe. Gallus was a natural athlete, with a gift for weaponry. I would have liked to practise with him but he preferred to keep his military companions to himself. “You read your books,” he said sharply. “I’m the one who’s to be a soldier.” So I read my books.
23 replies on “Julian, 10”
“We don’t care about the Third Reich. It is a historical curiosity like the Confederacy,” said Hunter Wallace today.
He cannot be more wrong. It’s his Southern Nationalism what is a historical curiosity. Hitler had Emperor Julian in high esteem: something that Dixie inhabitants will never understand until their children abandon Christianity.
If only true apostasy from that religion will save the fair race, then Hitlerism is not a mere curiosity.
keep hammering this message. a voice crying in the wilderness. one i’m glad for. the roots of early childhood beliefs, rooted in hypnosis — being told by the powerful adults in our pre-5 year old life — run deep.the lucky few of us x-believers to see the utter phantasy nonsense of the humanoids’ need for salvation of a higher power and especially the jew-take monotheism, the one true god. while they are their religion’s worst defense, stealing/ killing/ destroying, yet blind to what their messiah said, “by their fruits you shall know them.”
I look forward to hearing from Julian on Sundays. If only he could have turned back the tide that would sweep all of our lands and infect our peoples…It’s a monumental task to try and reform our thinking. Christianity holds our people back from asserting our righteous Aryan anger. Can we establish an ethnostate without ridding ourselves of Christianity? It would be difficult. But can we rid ourselves of Christianity without establishing an ethnostate first? I’m tempted to say no, unfortunately. We need to be free of the presence of the other if we are going to have a serious internal discussion about our flawed moral tendencies. It’s much the same as the need for places for men to be men without the presence of women. You can’t address the nature of manhood in a room full of women.
So true: which is why I believe that even WNsts are body-snatched Pods.
The priest of the 14 words has a guideline: speak only with Aryan males. You can imagine even if a single woman is present among buddies and we start talking of abducting them and, as I say in my language “no dejar ni los huesitos” (“not leaving even the little bones”) in the sense of La grande bouffe (the great lycanthropic feast) of little reds riding hoods after the day of the rope. (Abduction & rape of the fair ones is the aftermath of hanging the liberal fatties that we don’t fancy.)
Women cannot stand that level of black humour: it is for male ears only. But guys could love it and laugh loudly.
Indeed, women don’t want to contemplate the visceral origins of a civilization or the men it took to create it. They are only interested in the material luxuries and social niceties that are eventually born of conquest.
It also strikes me how offensive to the Christian mind such a statement would be. But yet it would be natural gusto for the conquering Aryan. It demonstrates how feminized the New Testament mentality is. So it is quite good that you are posting from KD Rebel now.
@ Justin Kire & Joseph Walsh:
Even those women active in the WN movement shy away from realistic measures. Tara for one, when Anglin debated Greggy recently, asked the former if he really wanted to exterminate the non-Gentiles. Anglin, before a patently feminine question responded that expelling them would be enough. And I could say exactly the same of Carolyn Yeager, and Lana of Red Ice Radio.
We bastards, not them have the gift of lycanthropy. That is something they will never understand because their brains are not hard-wired as to how defend their tribe properly: by running enemy blood.
Spot on Cesar. It is by KILLING our enemies that our race survives, the girl I spoke to seemed to think being on the side of Truth would ensure our victory, Truth does not decide who wins wars, whoever spills the most enemy blood does.
The other side to being a man along with killing your tribe’s enemies is impregnating women to continue your species. Although it is common to complain that white women are not having enough children the fault lies with white males who have become cowards too timid to shed blood or dominate their women like their forefathers did. It is a white male problem that we need to resolve in order to become White MEN again (and subsequently be feared by the colored races like our forefathers were). If there is not a collective change in the behaviour of a significant number of white males within the next century it is probably all over for the fair race and deservedly so…as Lane said “A race whose males will not fight to keep its women will perish.”
The battle that Julian lost is the same battle that the pagan Saxons lost to Charlemagne and the Catholic Church, that the Third Reich lost to the Judeo-Allies and that we are engaged in today. The millenia old Jew vs. Aryan war which is now reaching its climax.
It is very true what you say Cesar about the necessity to speak only with Aryan males. I used to be in frequent contact with an Aryan female who ran a website that praised Adolf Hitler and National Socialism. When I told her I want the Aryan race to eventually genocide all non-Aryans she went crazy! Despite supporting William Pierce and Ben Klassen on her website she couldn’t stand that sort of talk. I then asked her how about if Aryans leave the colored races to survive but kill the Jews and she didn’t agree or disagree, just told me to stop talking about violence with her as it doesn’t serve our purpose! Yet she supports David Lane and The Order on her website who carried out violence?! She claimed Adolf Hitler used only legal methods but I pointed out he used illegal methods at first that landed him in prison to which she had no response. In her squeamishness to confront male brutality and the brutal logic of Nature she distorts the truth such as saying that people who believe National Socialism is only for Europeans are brainwashed. Needless to say we don’t have much contact anymore.
Once again, this is ‘Team white vs. Team jew’ mythology.
Problem with this POV is, Charlemagne was an Aryan, and Julian was defeated for his serious militar blunders (see the novel’s climax), not because the Jews or the Christians defeated him. And the Allies were mostly composed by whites.
I see the whole battle as Aryans trying to cure themselves from a mass psychosis: a psychosis that presently is reaching its peak.
How long do you think Aryans have had this collective psychosis for? Long before Christianity? And do you think that after it’s reached its peak, providing it has not killed us off, it will burn out and be easy to restore sane Aryan morals again?
I don’t believe that whites were mad before Christianity.
Christianity started the whole madness.
Kemp is right, as you can listen in his Red Ice interview with Lana, that the use of non-whites as capital has been the main blunder of Western history. But that’s a human mistake (see also my recent posts on the ‘3-eyed Raven’): it is not psychosis.
Psychosis is changing an extremely noble religion as the one pictured by Homer’s poetry for that slave-morality thing of the New Testament.
I am oversimplifying, but I wonder if you have read ‘The Red Giant’? This was one of the most popular pieces since the previous Blogspot incarnation of WDH. It shows how a normal altruistic instinct degenerated into something suicidal.
@Cesar I have read ‘The Red Giant’ many times, I like it very much. The analogy of present day Christianity with a red giant reminds me of Revilo Oliver’s comparison of modern Christianity with the tertiary stage of syphilis. The destructive effects of Christianity materialized seriously with Francis of Assisi then became ever more destructive with liberalism-once Jesus was done away with liberals tried to realize the heaven of perfect equality on this earth. After 1945 suicidal Christian morality has driven Aryans mad. Failure to follow in Hitler’s footsteps has led them to follow Christ instead, to the grave. Christianity has completely perverted the morality of the vast majority of Aryans, including White Nationalists.
This is the specific passage of that article I had in mind (my italics):Germanic people, as described above, have a natural altruism. When combined with the unfettered Christian ethics of the latter stages of the Western Christian civilization, it creates an interference that goes completely out of bounds. The morality of Germanic people has reached a point where it has to be balanced back, or we will perish. To create this balance Germanic people have to leave Christian ethics. (Romance and Slavic people can keep Christianity. It’s not a matter of life or death for them.)
What we are witnessing in the present time is the great tragedy of Germanic people.
With the lack of clan mentality, we find that Germanic people are the ones that most faithfully turn their loyalty towards the nation. But due to the inherent universalism of Christianity, we see in the current incarnation of Western Christian civilization how nations are considered illegitimate and gradually being dissolved. The nationalist loyalty of the Germanic people becomes redirected to universalist loyalty; still lacking of clan mentality.
What is said in The Red Giant about Christianity redirecting the natural altruism of the Germanic nations toward a universalist altruism makes me think of what Revilo Oliver said about Christianity
C.T. and Joseph,
I believe we have to have the extermination first in order to deal with any deep internal problem. From that point of view, I don’t mind if the jew shoulders too much of the blame because we have to get rid of them once and for all. If we can do that, then getting rid of muds will be child’s play in comparison. We’ll have the taste of blood in our teeth at that point. I hope that we will have learned some very hard lessons about race and genetics that will fuel such a final situation. Our women will get back in line for another thousand years or so too. The men who exterminate their racial competition won’t do so just to share power in their own hard-won white world.
I hope all these things come to pass. But I have to admit, I have a difficult time trying to determine in what order things will happen. Perhaps the Aryan beast will reassert himself all at once…and the Jewish problem, Christian problem, female problem and our internal problems will all be dealt with in a fantastic shattering of all that is.
You are right that the JP ought to be tackled first.
The way I see things:
After the dollar collapses the first thing to go will be transgenderism; then, the idealisation of homosexuality, then, as hungry and rioting niggers will be causing havoc in the big cities their idealisation will start to crumble.
Everything in order of the ‘emancipations’ since the 19th century but this time backwards: as peeling off the most recent egalitarian fads.
Then comes feminism: first 3rd wave feminism will go and last 1st wave feminism (right to vote). After that the time for the Jews arrives in social consciousness. (Of the anti-white Newspeak, ‘antisemitism’ is the oldest and ‘transphobia’ the newest.)
I wish the Jews fell first but that’s the way the psyche works. Just imagine a societal collapse like the Hurricane Irma throughout the US (although this time it will be financial). Who will be worried about trans-restrooms, etc? Trannys are the very first to go…
magical thinking. early childhood hypnosis has to be outlawed by the nation-state. that means brand new nation-state corporate by-laws. no more declaration of independence misconstrued state religion. goodbye far lefters. goodbye far righters.
i cannot imagine what disasters (apocalypse) must take place to precipitate the rise and broad acceptance of the necessary righteous dictator needed to lead the “board” and stockholders in effecting these fundamental changes.
if one looks at the founding of corporations, corporate by-laws must be written. and “rule-of-[corporate]law accepted by stockholders and board members. the united states established a public education system to teach its corporate by-laws to all its native citizens. with the rise of egalitarianism as the state religion, the public education system acted as key dismantler of both board and stockholders understanding the importance to the corporation’s survival of living by rule-of-law. public education pushed the opposite: the whole is less the one of its parts.
the concept of “rule of corporate law” is simple to grasp as necessary: the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. the perpetuation of the nation-state entity is each citizen’s highest purpose, not some pie in the sky ideology pushed by some group of outlaws.
only apocalyptic wreckage to a country precipitating the rising of a righteous dicator can effect a fundamental reset and definition of new nation-state by-laws. and holding every citizen accountable in accepting the necessity of corporate by-laws and signing up as citizens to live by and respect those laws — perhaps on the consequence of revoking citizenship and deportation with no recourse. ain’t gonna happen without a highly educated and indoctrinated — everyday from early childhood like faithfully reading one’s daily reading of the holy writ — citizen population.
That makes some sense. But perhaps the layers will be pulled off quickly. We can hope anyway.
I’m reminded of both the Turner Diaries and Covington’s novels where the hold outs are the constitutionalist conservatives who want to fight the evil nazis. What a worthless expense of energy to have to fight such men, who would be on our side if they could break free of their mental prison. Hitler and Rockwell were wise to eschew conservatives.
I wish the process to reach consciousness on JP would be quickly.
In other threads I have said that presently whites are in ‘happy mode’. This is my flow chart after the dollar crashes:
—> Angry mode
—> Combat mode
—> Killing mode
‘Angry mode’ just means angry at the System as Greeks were some years ago after their financial crisis;
‘Combat mode’ means rednecks in deep America (i.e., the less degenerate America) defending their farms with gunfire against zombie negroes from the cities that are hungry and in need of white pussy after the crash;
‘Killing mode’ is the goal. It might start when whites are finally fed up of their government after, e.g., it starts to confiscate arms in times when whites most need them. (Remember: the governments of both a Caribbean island a few days ago, and of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina in 2005, wanted to confiscate arms. They do this because they know that in time of crisis whites could take over.)
I am already in killing mode while WNsts are in happy mode!
This does not mean that I’ll try a Dylann thing, only that they are not in hate mood yet (the only mood that potentially can save us).
[This paragraph is the gist of the short set of paragraphs below: If the white race is unable to accept rule by an authoritarian leader it will not be protected. Man is protector. A race needs a man to protect it just as a woman needs a man to protect her. The race is the woman and she must be married to an authoritarian leader in order to survive.]
The authoritarian leader is the hight of masculinity, he is the opposite of castrated. Anti-authoritarians in the west are one of two things. They are either emasculated westerners or they are foreigners whose masculinity is intact yet who seek to emasculate powerful white people.
The northern abolitionists using the bible to morally shame southern aristocrats were expressing their hatred of masculinity. Northern abolitionists were emasculated men who tried to prove their superiority over their true superiors, the southern aristocrats, by declaring their loyalty to a book and placing this book above all human authority.
If those northerners had integrity they would have recognized the superior moral character of the southern aristocrat and admired him for it instead of trying to shame him for what were actually his virtues.
There is a long history in the west of emasculated whites who appeal to various legal documents, written by both jew and gentile, in order to try to depose their rightful white superiors. This happened in the American war for independence from Great Britain.
The white who envies the superior white in his envy is destructive to the white race. An example of this is white south africans of english heritage collaborated with the non-whites in the anti-apartheid struggle. They did this because white english people were not allowed in positions of power. Apartheid south africa was controlled by white afrikaners who were mainly of dutch heritage, and the envious white english used morality as a weapon to destroy afrikaner power and thus were very destructive to whites in general in south africa.
If the white race is unable to accept rule by an authoritarian leader it will not be protected. Man is protector. A race needs a man to protect it just as a woman needs a man to protect her. The race is the woman and she must be married to an authoritarian leader in order to survive.
The white race is full of castrators who seek to abolish masculinity and if those castrators are not stopped then the future of the white race is uncertain as it will be at the mercy of the judgement of global humanity as a whole.
“The white who envies the superior white in his envy is destructive to the white race.”
This is a quotable quote. With Churchill, WNsts who hate Hitler fall in this category.
“Women cannot stand that level of black humour: it is for male ears only. But guys could love it and laugh loudly.”
Wait, Cesar, do you have such real friends? Or is it just a thought experiment in a vacuum?
Have copied The Red Giant and these comments into a Word document for further reviewing and reflection. Excellent.