My own stagnation in the pond

This paragraph from the previous post about the history of American National Socialism, written by Martin Kerr—:

Some NSWPP activities may seem startling by the standards of 2018. In 1976 and 1977, a contingent of uniformed Stormtroops, led by three drummers and a flag bearer, marched in the annual Arlington, Virginia, Fourth of July parade, along with the high school band, the VFW, the Rotary and other non-controversial participants. As I can personally attest, the National Socialists received both cheers and catcalls from onlookers along the parade route.

—slightly shocked me. Those years Kerr mentions, 1976 and 1977, were precisely the years when the soul-destroying assault of my parents (and a witch doctor they hired to break me) had reached its peak in my adolescence.

Had I known that such an organisation existed on the other side of the Rio Grande, I would have done my utmost to escape the hell at home and devote myself body and soul to the cause of National Socialism. As I wrote in mid-October on this site, a couple of years before the black hour of my life I had gone into a bookshop asking for ‘pro-Nazi books’. No one informed me that there was an organisation in the US that published the literature I was looking for.

I blame not only my family, the Spanish publishing houses, the school institution and the media that kept me in the dark in the darkest hour of my life (the internet didn’t exist). Had I known better, I would have remade my life instead of staying in a place where I would stagnate in a pond (to understand the metaphor of the Tarot card’s pond see this entry). After those pretty hellish years, in December 1978 I would enter a neo-Christian sect that would alienate me for decades, as I recount in the fifth and eleventh books of my autobiography.