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My stepping stones

in crossing the psychological Rubicon

In my previous post I talked about a couple of steps I crossed when I was a normie, but not about my steps in crossing the psychological Rubicon.


The first step in leaving the lands of Normieland behind me towards National Socialism was my discovery of the Islamisation of Europe, which the media had hidden from me and only in October of 2008 I discovered thanks to the internet.


Living in Spain, I spent several months immersed in sites alerting Westerners to the alarming mass migration of Muslims in Europe, but these people rarely talked about racial issues. Incredibly, I had deleted an article of mine critical of Catholic legends about St Francis in one of my blogs because, at the time, I believed that defending the West meant defending Christianity.

The first big surprise came in July and August of 2009. In one of the Gates of Vienna discussion threads, the comments of a Swede (see pages 25-44 of Daybreak) made me re-evaluate Nietzsche, in the sense of seeing that Christianity represented the inversion of Greco-Roman values, and that Christian ethics was the basic aetiology of Aryan decline.

Not long after that great discovery I first entered a white nationalist site, TOQ Online, then edited by Greg Johnson, and I was most impressed by Michael O’Meara’s essay ‘Toward the White Republic’: the first time I had ever heard an American intellectual proclaim the need for independence from the United States!

When I left Spain, at the airport I began to read several TOQ Online articles I had collected, although I didn’t read them in detail until after crossing the Atlantic.


Given that all the sites that focus on the Islamisation of Europe are conservative Zionist types, I was initially very reluctant to see the Jewish Problem as a genuine problem, as presented in the white nationalist forums. It didn’t take long to disabuse me. By February of 2010 I had a rude awakening to the reality of the JP, as can be seen in the old incarnation of this site (here and here).

On 20 April a colleague of Hunter Wallace’s published an article about Hitler in Occidental Dissent whose comments section became a real treat for those of us so hungry for red pills. It was in that comments section that Greg Johnson published in its entirety an essay by Irmin Vinson (later published in one of Counter-Currents Publishing’s books) that radically changed my view of Hitler. (Wallace would later delete the article, so that thread can no longer be seen.)

I think it was that year that I first heard The Turner Diaries in the voice of William Pierce himself: a tremendous milestone in my spiritual development in that I realised that the ‘Neanderthal extermination’ ideas I had harboured for decades had been spelt out in a highly engrossing novel. It takes some time to download Pierce’s audio but it can be listened here (for a few textual excerpts, click here).

But Pierce had died, and on 21 October I began reading a novel by a still-living author: The Brigade, the best novel by Harold Covington, who was inspired by The Turner Diaries. This same year I devoured Covington’s complete tetralogy about the founding of a white republic in the north-western United States after a war of secession. I must confess that this tetralogy (Covington hadn’t yet written Freedom’s Sons) restored my manhood. Previously I was as demoralised as the average Westerner when it came to revolutionary violence.


On 4 March I began reading The Turner Diaries in a home printout of the text, to better understand the novel I had heard in Pierce’s voice. In June, the webzine Counter-Currents began running a series of articles by Roger Devlin about the weapon of mass destruction that is feminism that made a huge impression on me, and would eventually be published under a single cover.

But the big highlight of 2011 was J.A. Sexton’s review of Hellstorm: The Death of Nazi Germany, reproduced on pages 485-494 of The Fair Race’s Darkest Hour. I realised that what the Allies did to the Germans was infinitely worse than the crimes the System attributes to the Nazis.


When I asked on a racialist forum whether any histories had been written about the white race, Franklin Ryckaert informed me that Pierce, and Arthur Kemp for that matter, had written a couple of books on the subject. I started my first online reading of Pierce’s Who We Are on 9 July, and signed the copy I received from Ostara Publications of Kemp’s March of the Titans on 30 July.

Thanks to these two books, the tremendous historical gaps with which the System brainwashes us began to be filled with top-notch data, and by 24 August I received my copy of Tom Goodrich’s Hellstorm: the book I recommend most highly of all, definitely #1 on my list.

In November I printed out Who We Are for a paper read. It wasn’t yet published although I would later acquire a properly printed copy in book form. (It seems the National Alliance folk complained and whoever published it had to withdraw it from the market.)


In the last month of 2017, I made a historical discovery that didn’t appear in Pierce and Kemp’s books: the absolutely brutal way in which savage, fanatic Christians destroyed the classical world. I refer to Evropa Soberana’s essay ‘Rome v. Judea; Judea v. Rome’ which, once I finished translating from Spanish into English, I christened as the ‘masthead’ of this site, The West’s Darkest Hour.

Interestingly, the information on these events was already in my library. Since the 1990s I had obtained a couple of books of a German-Spanish translation from Karlheinz Deschner’s ten volumes about Christianity’s criminal history. But Deschner’s work is so overwhelmingly erudite that one gets lost in a jungle of information. I needed a literary artist like Evropa Soberana to summarise this veritable Aryan apocalypse from the 4th to the 6th centuries in a single essay so that I could see, with an eagle eye, the tragedy that befell the culture with which I most identify.


In December of 2018 a commenter pointed out to me, in one of the discussion threads on this site, Richard Carrier’s work on the non-existence of Jesus of Nazareth. It wasn’t until I assimilated Carrier’s exegetical work that I really graduated in my apostasy from Christianity. There is a gulf between believing that Jesus existed, and realising that the Jesus of the gospels was the literary invention of the evangelist Mark, who was furious after the Romans destroyed Jerusalem and founded Aelia Capitolina (Paul’s Jesus was too nebulous and distant theological figure to capture the White man’s imagination).


Although I had quoted several passages from Savitri Devi on this site, it was not until last year that, thanks to Savitri’s writing on the Kalki archetype (which portrays my exterminationist spirit to perfection), I realised the greatness of this woman. I hope soon to resume translations of Savitri’s book which best serves as an introduction to her thought.

Mixing metaphors, crossing the psychological Rubicon is the same as climbing Mauricio’s ladder.

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