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Christmas Eve

I have a lot to say about Christianity. Believe me. Decades of my life were destroyed as a result of a focalized abuse perpetrated by my father—a fanatic Catholic—when I was a minor. His verbal abuse and slapping on my face, together with his eschatological doctrine of eternal damnation, broke my adolescent heart. Since as a young person nobody helped me, I was completely unable to process the trauma.

At seventeen I constantly had themes from Mozart’s Requiem stuck in my head in the Catholic school Zumárraga, an ear worm synchronized with the religious metamorphosis that was taking place in my mind: the change from the stage of perceiving God as the loving father of my St. Francis to the terrible God of the Requiem—my introjected Father.

Confutatis maledictis
Flammis acribus addictis
Sed tu bonus fac benigne
Ne perenni cremer igne.

My fear of eternal damnation, what Alice Miller calls “the fighting with the parental introjects,” i.e., the fighting against our inner daddy, reached truly paranoid, medieval levels of obsessive fear, as I recount in my book Hojas Susurrantes (Whispering Leaves). It’s a miracle that, unlike millions of adolescents who have been abused in this infernal way at home, I didn’t lose my mind…

Nevertheless, since the Jews have been targeting Christmas, I won’t criticize my parents’ religion in Christmas Eve. I better copy and paste part of a non-autobiographical chapter of Whispering Leaves that I used to source a couple of online encyclopedias. Pay special attention to the paragraph that starts with the words: “Something completely lost to the modern mind is that…” which, in a nutshell, summarizes my views on why Christianity conquered the souls of the ancient Romans.

The following excerpts relate to the positive side of the religion of my family: how the Church vehemently combated abortion and infanticide among the white people. Let’s remember that infanticidal practices run amok in the Classical World accelerated the fall of the Roman Empire, just as today’s millions of abortions represent a pivotal role in the demographic winter for the white people and the consequent demise of Western civilization.

Relying heavily on Larry S. Milner’s treatise on infanticide, in 2008 I wrote:

Note of August 2, 2018: Several paragraphs that used to be here have been merged within: this post

Christmas postscript

While the wicked are confounded,
doomed to flames of woe unbounded
yet, good Lord, in grace complying,
rescue me from fires undying!

The above is the English translation of the Latin lines.

However disgusting I find to quote a kike, I believe that psychologist Robert Godwin hit a nail. The unconscious message of Christianity is that, when through sacrificial offerings we murder or even torture our innocent son—as was done throughout the Ancient World—, we murder God; and that the crucifixion of Jesus was meant to be the last human sacrifice, with Jesus acting on behalf of our own murdered innocence.

This is the key to understand why a Judaic-inspired cult conquered the Roman Empire. Therefore, and even when I consider myself a spiritual martyr of such religion, I cannot share the views of those nationalists who repudiate every single legacy of such faith. However abominable the doctrine of hell is, what I said above is crucial for a radical—denoting or relating to the roots—understanding of the origins of the religion of our parents.

P.S. of 15 April 2012

See references & comments below.

5 replies on “Christmas Eve”


[1] Birdsell, Joseph, B. (1986), “Some predictions for the Pleistocene based on equilibrium systems among recent hunter gatherers”, in Richard Lee and Irven DeVore, Man the Hunter, Aldine Publishing Co., p. 239.

[2] Williamson, Laila (1978), “Infanticide: an anthropological analysis”, in Kohl, Marvin, Infanticide and the Value of Life, New York: Prometheus Books, pp. 61-75.

[3] Milner, Larry S. (2000). Hardness of Heart/Hardness of Life: The Stain of Human Infanticide. Lanham/New York/Oxford: University Press of America, p. 19.

[4] Hoffer, Peter, N.E.H. Hull (1981). Murdering Mothers: Infanticide in England and America, 1558-1803. New York University Press, p. 3.

[5] Simons, E. L. (1989). “Human origins”. Science 245: p. 1344.

[6] Neel, James. (1970). “Lessons from a ‘primitive’ people”. Science 1: p. 816.

[7] Milner: Hardness of Heart (op. cit.) p. 324.

[8] Brown, Shelby (1991). Late Carthaginian Child Sacrifice and Sacrificial Monuments in their Mediterranean Context. Sheffield Academic Press, pp. 22s. See also: Stager, Lawrence, Samuel R. Wolff (1984). “Child sacrifice at Carthage —religious rite or population control?” Biblical Archaeology Review 10: pp. 31-51.

[9] Hughes, Dennis D. (1991). Human Sacrifice in Ancient Greece. Routledge, p. 187.

[10] Philo (1950). The Special Laws. Harvard University Press, Tomo VII, pp. 117s, 551, 549.

[11] Naphtali, Lewis, ed. (1985), “Papyrus Oxyrhynchus 744”, Life in Egypt Under Roman Rule, Oxford University Press, p. 54.

[12] Radville, Samuel X. (1974), “A history of child abuse and infanticide”, in Steinmetz, Suzanne K. and Murray A. Strauss, Violence in the Family, New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., pp. 173-179.

[13] Loren Cobb signs under a penname in Wikipedia. His post appeared in Talk:Psychohistory (03:41, April 3, 2008).

[14] Robinson, J. Armitage (traductor) (1920), “Didache”, Barnabas, Hermar and the Didache, vol. D.ii.2c, New York: The MacMillan Co., p. 112.

[15] Ibídem, Epistle of Barnabas, xix. 5d.

[16] Radbill, Samuel X. (1974), “A history of child abuse and infanticide”, in Steinmetz, Suzanne K. and Murray A. Straus, Violence in the Family, New York: Dodd, Mead & Co., pp. 173-179.

[17] John Boswell (1984). “Exposition and oblation: the abandonment of children and the ancient and medieval family”. American Historical Review 89: pp. 10-33.

You misunderstand.

But how can you understand? This post is only the tiny tip of the iceberg of what my father did to me when I was a child.

No child has healthy defense mechanisms against serious parental abuse, for the simple reason that he cannot escape home.

Young minds are being destroyed this very day precisely because victims of extreme forms of abuse (in some families physical abuse, in other families sexual abuse and in others mental or emotional abuse, as happened in my family) have no way out. This results in what some psychologists call introjection, or the “demons” of the self that are very hard to erase/exorcise.

Read the chapter “A class with Colin Ross” within this entry and have a glimpse of what I am talking about.

Are you sure that parental abuse doesn’t help a person? Doesn’t hard childhood consolidate character? In the past, children played more dangerous games than now, and they were better. I’ve been playing video games since the age of three, and I have always been talked to as an equal, my childhood was heavenly easy, but I became a lazy mofo in the end. Wasn’t anger at your father that irrational desire to change things in your life? How could you have become a warrior if you had been a prince with every your wish immediately satisfied?

Your fear of eternal damnation… I have always hated both Yahweh and Satan, both Valar and Melkor, both Capitalism and Communism. I have always despised fear. I know no fear. But that leads to resignation. And how can you make a fearless one fear? How can you replace rational suicidal pleasure with the irrational will to live?

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